a Sunday afternoon sweat

After a several month hiatus, we have rejoined our local YMCA. In our household it makes no sense financially, but it makes perfect sense from a health and wellness point of view.

I never thought that I could miss the gym but I did. No, I do not love the exertion or the heart rate increase. I absolutely hate the getting there and the warmup. But-- I do love the endorphins released and the sweat that pours. The cobwebs in my mind are cleared away and my shoulders are not so full of stress. I finally understand and can see it as an opportunity to renew.

This is the start of my birthday week. The actual day is on Friday, but I plan to find ways to be grateful every day. Last year I had grand plans of travel and road trips to take time out and contemplate. That did not happen. With car problems in two of the three family cars, I could not take away the only working vehicle. Life happens. 

The puppies turn ten months old on my birthday also. I am so pleased that they are in this world and we can watch them grow. The owners are great about sharing pictures and I love to see them develop. They are such markers for time passing.  

This week ahead (and the rest of this year) can be full of hope and purpose. It is about choice. It is about living fully -with intention. This is no dress rehearsal -so live it up now! The big things really are the little things of each passing day. Whether it is getting excited about "BLT season" or laughing in the park with friends, the time we have now matters.

Forget the measly checkbook balance, dirty floors, and smelly dogs.
We are enough. We have a safe home. We have wonderful children with fur.
Maybe this is what God has been trying to teach me this year?

I learn a lot by asking for help.

Being a loving, responsible pet owner is important to me.
I am also wise enough to seek help when something stumps me. My many years of life remind me that there is always more to learn-- about myself, my loved ones, and the world around me. I can be patient enough (and persistent enough) to ask the many questions necessary.

This summer is filled with lessons in humility for me. I know that God wants me to learn and I really am willing... I just wish that it wasn't so painful sometimes. 

One of our puppies is incredibly sick. Roughly half of his heart is in failure and he has been turned down by WSU Veterinary School for open heart surgery. We treat him with numerous medications and excellent care from a team of doctors, but it is not fixable. We work incredibly hard for a quality life, not for quantity life. 

Let me say that I would not trade one minute of time with LB for anyone else. I see the grace of our creator in his eyes often. His determination and appreciation of the smallest things is truly wonderful. I do not understand the reasoning behind this pathway in my life but I am trying to comprehend. The children with fur are appreciated and loved almost as much as the adult children.  We are those crazy dog parents, be warned.

As we approach the fall season, I hope that we can find some balance and happiness for our pup and for the whole family. There will be new "starts" in jobs for a couple of us, and changes in many areas of life. I want to be optimistic and thankful.

We are fundraising for the continued care of our heart patient puppy. This is how I am asking for help, on the site gofundme.com for Lil Blackie's Medical Bills. I am trying to loosen my grasp and open up to the Lord's plan. 

My birthday is coming up also, and I hope for laughter with family, friends, and loved ones. I hope it is sunny and warm and peaceful. It's not about things to me, it is all about the experiences. Feeling the love--

I hope that you do too..

when "Perfect" is the enemy of "Good"

I love it when you go to church on Sunday and the homily is still remembered on Tuesday.

I am pleased to say that I have been considering the Priest's words a lot during the last 48 hours. The readings were about Peter and his fears when Jesus walked on the water near the boat. Jesus called for him to come to him and Peter tried but fear got the best of him and he blew it. He called out "Save me Lord!" and Jesus did. He eased his anxieties and helped him. He loved him. He reassured him. All Peter had to do was ask.

I am a stubborn person who is used to doing things in my (mostly) orderly way. Like most people, I just have set patterns and behaviors that work for me. It really isn't that my plans are better than my friends or loved ones-- it is just that I will probably just carry on and try to "get my jobs done." 

Our Priest pointed out the importance of trying your best and being okay with the times that things are not perfect.  He challenged us to look at the times when we don't even try because we are sure that we cannot do it well. Those are the times when "Perfect" is the enemy of "Good." We dismiss new opportunities and challenges that we can probably do. We can learn to do it well or be good at it -in the future. We rob ourselves of the opportunity to suck at something, forgive ourselves, and try again.

It takes a lot of faith to wander into something that is foreign and to try. 

Here's to discovery! 

God still loves us when we blow it.    

Can we be that loving and kind to ourselves?  

banana Laffy Taffy

I went to the local WINCO foods to pick up a few groceries. It was a quick trip because I only needed some produce, coffee, eggs, and raw almonds. The raw almonds are kept in the bulk food section in the back corner of the store.
I had to go through the bulk candy. That is when I saw the bin filled with my latest obsession. Laffy Taffy-- specifically Banana Laffy Taffy.

I do not understand why this confection has caught my attention. It could be that I have baked my brain for too long. in the summer sun.  Perhaps the heat has caused this crazy craving? I will be kind to myself and let this run its course.

Dogs can have food cravings too. No, they are not able to satisfy their urge without human help, but they can enjoy specific foods with an attentive owner.  In our house, it is Lil Blackie who has a favorite food. His interest is more healthy than mine-- he loves WATERMELON. 

Adjusting to the changes in our house without our Kelsey may be the reason why I am having a hard time posting to this blog. I wish that I could write something with substance but it is not in me right now. The world seems quieter without her. The baying of a bloodhound is a sound that I love and that I miss.

Small summer joys are what we will work on at our house for the rest of August. I have got to force myself to laugh each day and search for more ways to make memories with loved ones. Whether we want it to or not- life goes on. Loss and grief sucks.
Hug your dog today. Let the sunshine bake your brain. Why don't you try to find a candy from your childhood that made you happy?     Give your pooch a cube of watermelon   -- he might like it.

trying to limit the steps backward

We all have bad days. The key to getting through the bad day is to look at its relevance in the grand scheme of our lives. I ask myelf if we are doing everything possible to improve the situation in the healthiest way possible. I want to make sure that my efforts are full throttle. Regrets are a b**ch.

As an owner of several dogs, I tend to always have that nagging feeling of being spread too thin. I always hold myself accountable to a very high standard of care for my pets and I always wish that I could do more.

I just returned home from a veterinary appointment with one of the pups. This little guy is monitored weekly for some heart issues and is on several medications. His health is compromised but he doesn't know it. Most of the report from the doctor was good, but there is concern in one area.

Grief is a houseguest at our residence this year. We have suffered the loss of our wonderful bloodhound -only a week ago. She had over ten happy years with us, but it is still so hard. 

It is time for me to focus on the positive and work on the rest. I will carry on.
Enjoy your Thursday.

(we) control freaks need extra guidance and patience

Does completing a task really count if it is undone in under 24 hours?

What if it isn't apparent to anyone else. Does it matter? I need to remember that my reality is my perception. It can change the minute I change my attitude.

Searching for meaning and purpose today.

making it to ten years old

(the wise parenting of Violet,) 

I learn something of value from my pets every day.Often it is Gus's patience, Kelsey's steadfastness, or Carson's gusto. Today it is Violet's natural wisdom in her role as a mother.

If you are of the opinion that dogs do not think or feel, please stop reading this blog NOW. 

This post was started a little over a week ago, before our life changed.  Our eldest canine, a beautful 10 year old bloodhound named Kelsey is pain free in heaven, probably walking on a beach with Q.

I wasn't going to do this to myself on a Monday morning. My girl of ten years is not "sheriffing" the little ones. Our ship has lost its mast. The quiet in our home is painful for my ears.

 Denial just keeps me flat lining. My macabre state of mind may never leave if I do not acknowledge the pain and accept that it is here. It scares the rest of my children with fur, who count on me for their care.

What do you learn from death? I guess it is to respect the present tense of life. I know that this is a "pat" answer, but most of us are caught up in our preparations for the future, or lists, or paying bills. It is very hard to be silent and still.

The aging process for pets can be rough -just like it is for humans. Her issues with ears, teeth, gums, hips, and liver were too much. The aging eyes added fear to the pain.

I would rather be heart broken than have her here- miserable. She would have gladly stayed but don't I owe her more?  The beach, pain free and happy is what she deserves. I will see her again one day.

I will write some other time about my Violet's parenting skills.