making it to ten years old

(the wise parenting of Violet,) 

I learn something of value from my pets every day.Often it is Gus's patience, Kelsey's steadfastness, or Carson's gusto. Today it is Violet's natural wisdom in her role as a mother.

If you are of the opinion that dogs do not think or feel, please stop reading this blog NOW. 

This post was started a little over a week ago, before our life changed.  Our eldest canine, a beautful 10 year old bloodhound named Kelsey is pain free in heaven, probably walking on a beach with Q.

I wasn't going to do this to myself on a Monday morning. My girl of ten years is not "sheriffing" the little ones. Our ship has lost its mast. The quiet in our home is painful for my ears.

 Denial just keeps me flat lining. My macabre state of mind may never leave if I do not acknowledge the pain and accept that it is here. It scares the rest of my children with fur, who count on me for their care.

What do you learn from death? I guess it is to respect the present tense of life. I know that this is a "pat" answer, but most of us are caught up in our preparations for the future, or lists, or paying bills. It is very hard to be silent and still.

The aging process for pets can be rough -just like it is for humans. Her issues with ears, teeth, gums, hips, and liver were too much. The aging eyes added fear to the pain.

I would rather be heart broken than have her here- miserable. She would have gladly stayed but don't I owe her more?  The beach, pain free and happy is what she deserves. I will see her again one day.

I will write some other time about my Violet's parenting skills.  

habits (and David Sedaris)

I think that I am jealous of writers who can blog everyday. 
I honestly do not think that they have that much more to say than I do, I just believe they are better disciplined to carve out time to post. The schedules that they have put in place are working for them.
I have to ask --is my schedule is working for me?

I got away from my regular work and commitments this past weekend when I traveled to attend a funeral. I had several hours of "down time" that made me realize that I try to fill every minute at home. So much of what I do in my household is repetitive and is undone daily. Life is just happening while we figure out what to have for dinner.

I feel that I need projects with a clearer beginning and a firm finish line. Then perhaps this static of busyness will not be so blah. To live with more intention I must question what works and what does not.

When my kids were little I used to plan dinners with themes. Sunday we would grill, Monday was Italian, Tuesday was Chinese, etc, etc. This made it easy to set up a grocery list and the family was less bored with my cooking. Maybe I should have themes again?

Monday could be "discover a new part of our hometown". Tuesday could be "classic movie night from the library". Wednesday could be "hike a new trail and ice cream cone night". The possibilities are endless. Discoveries of new craft beers, kayaks, and bicycling are also appealing.

The biggest lesson concerning time that I learned this weekend is that it is finite. Whatever I want to do- I should do it now. 

I hope that you enjoy your day.