I learn a lot by asking for help.

Being a loving, responsible pet owner is important to me.
I am also wise enough to seek help when something stumps me. My many years of life remind me that there is always more to learn-- about myself, my loved ones, and the world around me. I can be patient enough (and persistent enough) to ask the many questions necessary.

This summer is filled with lessons in humility for me. I know that God wants me to learn and I really am willing... I just wish that it wasn't so painful sometimes. 

One of our puppies is incredibly sick. Roughly half of his heart is in failure and he has been turned down by WSU Veterinary School for open heart surgery. We treat him with numerous medications and excellent care from a team of doctors, but it is not fixable. We work incredibly hard for a quality life, not for quantity life. 

Let me say that I would not trade one minute of time with LB for anyone else. I see the grace of our creator in his eyes often. His determination and appreciation of the smallest things is truly wonderful. I do not understand the reasoning behind this pathway in my life but I am trying to comprehend. The children with fur are appreciated and loved almost as much as the adult children.  We are those crazy dog parents, be warned.

As we approach the fall season, I hope that we can find some balance and happiness for our pup and for the whole family. There will be new "starts" in jobs for a couple of us, and changes in many areas of life. I want to be optimistic and thankful.

We are fundraising for the continued care of our heart patient puppy. This is how I am asking for help, on the site gofundme.com for Lil Blackie's Medical Bills. I am trying to loosen my grasp and open up to the Lord's plan. 

My birthday is coming up also, and I hope for laughter with family, friends, and loved ones. I hope it is sunny and warm and peaceful. It's not about things to me, it is all about the experiences. Feeling the love--

I hope that you do too..

sometimes you wish you could b**ch slap an optimist

Today looks like it may be one of those days that requires extra caffeine, lots of sunshine, and a kick in my own keister to accomplish my required work today. I have figuratively set fire to my gratitude journal and it will require a lot of work to rid myself of this funk. I still ask why and wonder how to fix it.
Sometimes I just don't get it.

I drove 700 miles this weekend to  attend a funeral of a dear friend's mother. The service was touching. She was a much loved lady and her children and grandchildren shared stories of their time together. All the static cleared away with the loss. Daily concerns about money, or repairs needed, or chores were put on hold. No one cared about job hunting, medical queries, or car issues. We just shared a meal and talked about our times with the departed.

The funeral was held in my hometown. It is a small mining town that is depressed economically.There are lots of homes for sale and many empty businesses. The quietness on the streets was eerie. This time I saw my old stomping grounds in a different light.  

I truly believe that I am where I should be right now in my life. I take ownership for my actions and know that I can work hard to move forward. It just tears at my heart to see my loved ones battle medical issues that are the size of Mount Everest. Both humans and canines, and none of it seems fair.

I guess it is time to focus on where I want to be, instead of where I am right now. 
The control freak that lives inside me does not believe that I cannot fix everything. Maybe the coffee is kicking in-- maybe some much needed perspective is fortifying my outlook? I hope so.

My dogs are huddling close to me this morning. These canines know me best and always offer their silent support. To just "be" in the moment-- that may be the grace in all of this. If I stop the struggle on my side- the resistance will fall apart.  

Today my visualization will be holding my hands wide open. There is no guarantee that it will make my lousy mood better, but it cannot hurt to try, right?

without use of my right thumb

I guess that I am one that did not appreciate my ten digits until one of them was injured.
I take for granted tasks like typing, buttoning up a shirt, tying shoes, and tearing open a salad bag when preparing dinner. The shooting pain (when I try to use it) reminds me that I better get creative and find means to do without my right thumb.  This is hard.

With time I will heal. My fingers will be doing what they are supposed too- without stabbing pain. This problem is so small and will soon be forgotten. This is miniscule when I compare it to my loved one's heart problems.

Our main medical advisor is waiting for word from the two expert cardiologists. We are about six weeks into the medicinal regime and each week we have to tweak the dosages, pills, amounts,etc. It is all about the quality of his life. They tell me that quantitiy is not an option. I hope that they are wrong. The stubborn part of me so badly wants a miracle. The battle worn part of me asks myself "Why him?"  He is so young.

Our oldest furry friend is having issues with aging. Her sight is poor but her sense of smell is still super (hurray for Bloodhounds) and she tires easily. The aches and pains seem to be increasing at a faster pace and I worry about her quality of life too.
My emotions are all over the place today. 

Maybe my thumb slaps me back to focus on now? Each time the pain makes me wince I want to ask for mercy, but not for myself. Not for me and my inconveniences, but for those whose health is compromised. I pray for grace in their lives daily and to feel the love and support of our Creator; for humans, for canines, for all.

pharmaceuticals in the canines' lives

At this time in our pets lives we are juggling the medication schedule for six different pills, two eye drops, and one ointment. Three different dogs require the medication, and two of them also require eye and or ear drops. Our two year old English Bulldog named Violet still has to wear the cone to protect her eye, but the good news is that her scratch is healing. She  has adjusted to the protective collar, but she still hates it. My mopey girl thinks this device is forever.  She doesn't understand.

The humans in our household are blessed to only have to take vitamins and supplements. An  occasional pain reliever or allergy pill sometimes, but there is nothing to administer for the humans like there is for the dogs! 

This blog is not about complaining today, it is actually about gratitude. I am thankful for the medical care to help improve our lives. The responsibilties for these "children with fur" is not as overwhelming today as it was yesterday. I had a nights sleep (that was pretty decent) and I am ready to carry on.

It is a good day to get outside and get some sunshine on my head and be thankful for this day in May. 

Happy Wednesday.