sometimes you need cruise control in your life

I hesitate to start this post on my blog.
I have got up twice since I decided to try and write.
I want to be honest and real with myself, and keep myself in "present tense" in my own life.
It just happens to be really hard today. I miss you.

I learn a lot by asking for help.

Being a loving, responsible pet owner is important to me.
I am also wise enough to seek help when something stumps me. My many years of life remind me that there is always more to learn-- about myself, my loved ones, and the world around me. I can be patient enough (and persistent enough) to ask the many questions necessary.

This summer is filled with lessons in humility for me. I know that God wants me to learn and I really am willing... I just wish that it wasn't so painful sometimes. 

One of our puppies is incredibly sick. Roughly half of his heart is in failure and he has been turned down by WSU Veterinary School for open heart surgery. We treat him with numerous medications and excellent care from a team of doctors, but it is not fixable. We work incredibly hard for a quality life, not for quantity life. 

Let me say that I would not trade one minute of time with LB for anyone else. I see the grace of our creator in his eyes often. His determination and appreciation of the smallest things is truly wonderful. I do not understand the reasoning behind this pathway in my life but I am trying to comprehend. The children with fur are appreciated and loved almost as much as the adult children.  We are those crazy dog parents, be warned.

As we approach the fall season, I hope that we can find some balance and happiness for our pup and for the whole family. There will be new "starts" in jobs for a couple of us, and changes in many areas of life. I want to be optimistic and thankful.

We are fundraising for the continued care of our heart patient puppy. This is how I am asking for help, on the site gofundme.com for Lil Blackie's Medical Bills. I am trying to loosen my grasp and open up to the Lord's plan. 

My birthday is coming up also, and I hope for laughter with family, friends, and loved ones. I hope it is sunny and warm and peaceful. It's not about things to me, it is all about the experiences. Feeling the love--

I hope that you do too..

trying to limit the steps backward

We all have bad days. The key to getting through the bad day is to look at its relevance in the grand scheme of our lives. I ask myelf if we are doing everything possible to improve the situation in the healthiest way possible. I want to make sure that my efforts are full throttle. Regrets are a b**ch.

As an owner of several dogs, I tend to always have that nagging feeling of being spread too thin. I always hold myself accountable to a very high standard of care for my pets and I always wish that I could do more.

I just returned home from a veterinary appointment with one of the pups. This little guy is monitored weekly for some heart issues and is on several medications. His health is compromised but he doesn't know it. Most of the report from the doctor was good, but there is concern in one area.

Grief is a houseguest at our residence this year. We have suffered the loss of our wonderful bloodhound -only a week ago. She had over ten happy years with us, but it is still so hard. 

It is time for me to focus on the positive and work on the rest. I will carry on.
Enjoy your Thursday.

without use of my right thumb

I guess that I am one that did not appreciate my ten digits until one of them was injured.
I take for granted tasks like typing, buttoning up a shirt, tying shoes, and tearing open a salad bag when preparing dinner. The shooting pain (when I try to use it) reminds me that I better get creative and find means to do without my right thumb.  This is hard.

With time I will heal. My fingers will be doing what they are supposed too- without stabbing pain. This problem is so small and will soon be forgotten. This is miniscule when I compare it to my loved one's heart problems.

Our main medical advisor is waiting for word from the two expert cardiologists. We are about six weeks into the medicinal regime and each week we have to tweak the dosages, pills, amounts,etc. It is all about the quality of his life. They tell me that quantitiy is not an option. I hope that they are wrong. The stubborn part of me so badly wants a miracle. The battle worn part of me asks myself "Why him?"  He is so young.

Our oldest furry friend is having issues with aging. Her sight is poor but her sense of smell is still super (hurray for Bloodhounds) and she tires easily. The aches and pains seem to be increasing at a faster pace and I worry about her quality of life too.
My emotions are all over the place today. 

Maybe my thumb slaps me back to focus on now? Each time the pain makes me wince I want to ask for mercy, but not for myself. Not for me and my inconveniences, but for those whose health is compromised. I pray for grace in their lives daily and to feel the love and support of our Creator; for humans, for canines, for all.

pharmaceuticals in the canines' lives

At this time in our pets lives we are juggling the medication schedule for six different pills, two eye drops, and one ointment. Three different dogs require the medication, and two of them also require eye and or ear drops. Our two year old English Bulldog named Violet still has to wear the cone to protect her eye, but the good news is that her scratch is healing. She  has adjusted to the protective collar, but she still hates it. My mopey girl thinks this device is forever.  She doesn't understand.

The humans in our household are blessed to only have to take vitamins and supplements. An  occasional pain reliever or allergy pill sometimes, but there is nothing to administer for the humans like there is for the dogs! 

This blog is not about complaining today, it is actually about gratitude. I am thankful for the medical care to help improve our lives. The responsibilties for these "children with fur" is not as overwhelming today as it was yesterday. I had a nights sleep (that was pretty decent) and I am ready to carry on.

It is a good day to get outside and get some sunshine on my head and be thankful for this day in May. 

Happy Wednesday.