sometimes you need cruise control in your life

I hesitate to start this post on my blog.
I have got up twice since I decided to try and write.
I want to be honest and real with myself, and keep myself in "present tense" in my own life.
It just happens to be really hard today. I miss you.

it will come to me

Words have great power and can carry so much meaning.
But, there are many times when a person can be at a total loss of them.
Sometimes a person's reaction -with no words at all- can say it all. 

A person can talk till they are blue in the face, but will not be believed if the body language does not match. Honesty in voice, mind, spirit and stance must synchronize and match. Actions have got to match the story.

Dogs are excellent barometers to whether people are telling the truth or not. If your dog does not like someone, listen to that dog! You will not be lead wrong.

My words have been sparse concerning this blog for the past couple of weeks. Life is precious and a couple of my pets have serious health concerns. I am still at a loss with some of what is going on, so I cannot write about it right now. Too close. Too tender.

Does life ever slow down or do we have to stay still when the important parts happen? Centering myself and trying to "keep calm and carry on" is daunting. Emotions churn my stomach and I cannot see more than two hours ahead.

I wish everyone a genuine Monday. 

pharmaceuticals in the canines' lives

At this time in our pets lives we are juggling the medication schedule for six different pills, two eye drops, and one ointment. Three different dogs require the medication, and two of them also require eye and or ear drops. Our two year old English Bulldog named Violet still has to wear the cone to protect her eye, but the good news is that her scratch is healing. She  has adjusted to the protective collar, but she still hates it. My mopey girl thinks this device is forever.  She doesn't understand.

The humans in our household are blessed to only have to take vitamins and supplements. An  occasional pain reliever or allergy pill sometimes, but there is nothing to administer for the humans like there is for the dogs! 

This blog is not about complaining today, it is actually about gratitude. I am thankful for the medical care to help improve our lives. The responsibilties for these "children with fur" is not as overwhelming today as it was yesterday. I had a nights sleep (that was pretty decent) and I am ready to carry on.

It is a good day to get outside and get some sunshine on my head and be thankful for this day in May. 

Happy Wednesday.

Let it Go

I do not always understand.
Sometimes my personal stubbornness or blinders skew the whole picture. When I get too far away from my true self, generally I get clumsy. I fell yesterday. I was mostly embarassed and suffer from a sore wrist, and bruised knees but I know myself. It is time to look at where I am on my own "List".

The generic horoscope in our local newspaper today stated  "You would be a lot happier if you allowed others to take the reins. Consider everything you could do if you didn't need to be present." This is interesting and appropriate.

A caregivers hardest job is preserving and highlighting his or her own life. Understanding that this is not a dress rehearsal should be freeing. To live a life with intention is a grand goal. A life with intention is not shallow, boastful, or selfish. It can be considerate, humble, and selfless. Perhaps an intentional life is payment for the opportunity to be alive?

The way that a dog lives is interesting to watch. Whether is is a play time, nap time or bedtime, the dog generally gives in fully to the activity. There is not a huge internal fight as to whether or not they should rest or not. The dog is not concerned with the work of the day or the schedule for tomorrow. The dog just does it.

Seth Godin writes "Worry is not preparation, and anxiety doesn't make you better." in his ABC book for grownups. It is not a coincidence that I read that today.

My dogs are pretty considerate, humble, and selfless. You can argue whether their lives have intention or not, but I know for sure-- that they are more free than I am. 

I should just do it. Hold on to what is important, and change and grow-- for my self, no one else.It is time to be less clumsy and more happy. No more tripping myself.

waiting is hard

Veterinary care is very similar to medical care-- it is an art more than a science. Just when you think that you can bring in your loved bloodhound for a procedure on her ears, the blood tests side track you and make you wait. My senior citizen dog cannot be sedated until we figure out why her liver numbers are whacked. Her ears will remain sore and the growth in her right one still sits in the ear canal.

I am not a patient person. My tendencies are to try to fix something over and over and over until I exhaust myself, figure out a solution or find someone who has the answer. I do not like to wait on tests. I loved to study for them in college and I even liked taking them, but I hate to wait for answers from medical tests.

Life threatening health problems clear up all the static in a cluttered mind. The priorities concerning loved ones are crystal clear and as a caregiver I get to work. Many times I have done this with humans and many times with my pets. Cancer in siblings or seizures in senior dogs, all that is needed is love.

The best way to love a sick person or pet is to remember that the person (or pet) is still the person (or pet). The disease or illness is not them-- they are just fighting it to the best of their abilities. Their life is dramatically altered perhaps, but it should not rob them of their individuality. What made them dear to you in the first place is still there, the threatening health problem just takes "center stage" for this act of his or her life. It is not the only act, just an incredibly serious one right now.  

Ten years of life (so far) for a large breed dog is phenomenal. My bloodhound has gifted our family with so much joy and I hope for many more days (years?) to come.
She wanted to go for her walk tonight. We almost kept her home, but I looked at her and knew that she wanted her normalcy, her routine. We walked her with the puppies-- at a slower pace than she usually goes. I don't think she minded the pace though, tonight I really watched her as she found new smells to sniff along the way. She loved the fresh air.

I was blessed to pay attention to the signs during our last two months with our Great Dane, Q. He was loved, cared for, and allowed to be himself for all of his years with us.We might be facing rough times ahead with Kelsey- but maybe not. Whatever it is, we can handle this together. We continue to wait for the medical tests.