Sometimes I just don't get it.
I drove 700 miles this weekend to attend a funeral of a dear friend's mother. The service was touching. She was a much loved lady and her children and grandchildren shared stories of their time together. All the static cleared away with the loss. Daily concerns about money, or repairs needed, or chores were put on hold. No one cared about job hunting, medical queries, or car issues. We just shared a meal and talked about our times with the departed.
The funeral was held in my hometown. It is a small mining town that is depressed economically.There are lots of homes for sale and many empty businesses. The quietness on the streets was eerie. This time I saw my old stomping grounds in a different light.
I truly believe that I am where I should be right now in my life. I take ownership for my actions and know that I can work hard to move forward. It just tears at my heart to see my loved ones battle medical issues that are the size of Mount Everest. Both humans and canines, and none of it seems fair.
I guess it is time to focus on where I want to be, instead of where I am right now.
The control freak that lives inside me does not believe that I cannot fix everything. Maybe the coffee is kicking in-- maybe some much needed perspective is fortifying my outlook? I hope so.
My dogs are huddling close to me this morning. These canines know me best and always offer their silent support. To just "be" in the moment-- that may be the grace in all of this. If I stop the struggle on my side- the resistance will fall apart.
Today my visualization will be holding my hands wide open. There is no guarantee that it will make my lousy mood better, but it cannot hurt to try, right?
No comments:
Post a Comment