isolation, wrist breaks and writer's block

My dominant hand is my left.
Almost three months ago, I fell on the ice near my mail box and broke my left wrist in two places. In a split second I went from closing my mail box to realizing I crashed hard on the ground. The sheer force of my fall landed on my wrist.

You are not supposed to brace yourself when you fall. 
I just reacted.I never had time to think, If I would have just landed on my back or side, the bruising would have been substantial, but there probably would not have been any breaks.
This icy day has led to many humbling discoveries and way too much time to analyze everything.

In the last ten weeks, I have gone from splint to purple cast to orange cast to brace. I still have three weeks of therapy and strength building. It has been a long winter. 

One of the humbling discoveries that I have made is how hard it is to be isolated. 
Both of my jobs had to be put on hold.  I was forced to do a whole lot of nothing.  I tried to figure out how to do most things with my right hand. I overused it and ended up with a stress fracture and a brace. Oh joy.

My loved ones are awesome and I guess that life goes on. I still whine a bit too much to those who will listen, but I can see the end and my return to my sense of normal.

I hope to learn from this. 

birthdays of our loved ones

March 29th was my deceased brother Ken's birthday. I wished him the happiest of celebrations up in heaven. In my idea of heaven, a party is still the way to acknowledge the day. I see our loved ones surrounding him and lots of candles on top of a cake.

Yesterday was my living brother Ray's birthday. Today is my living sister Theresa's birthday. What is sad is that I still feel closer to my sibling that is deceased than I do to the two (mentioned) that are alive. The one who is gone courageously fought cancer. The two with April birthdays fight self imposed limits.

I come from a family of eight children. We were raised traditionally with both parents in the home. Our hometown industries centered on open-pit mining, mainly copper and minerals. The winters were hard, the unions were tough and everyone was strong and good looking. (Apologies to Garrison Keillor - I could not resist.)

The posts spread over social media today tell me that it is "Siblings Day". The cynical side of me sighed at the fact that marketers have made up another holiday. I will not rush out and shop so that I can tell my brothers and sisters that they are special. I doubt that any of them will acknowledge it either. That makes me sad. I am not a "hallmark card for every occasion kinda girl" but the distance and misunderstandings between us bother me.

I am not optomistic concerning reconciliation with either one of these siblings. This is not pessimism, I am just a realist. Grudges from years past came through in the last conversations with these two-- and they took me by surprise. I know that I am as stubborn as they are. I wonder if they hurt about it as much as I do? 

Our parents were the "glue" to our family, especially my dad. That job was passed down to sibling #4, but she has passed away also. There are six of us left and at best we are polite to each other. Maybe we are all afraid that we may splinter more?

I will admit that today my hormones are playing a part in this writing. I pray that my children can stay closer than I have with my siblings.

This is another way in nature that dogs are smarter than us.

On Sunday past, four of Violet's pups got together for a play date. This was the first time since going to their new homes almost three months ago. The boys remembered each other. Such happiness to see each other! Simple pleasure of each other's company. There were no worries about the disagreement with Obamacare costs, number of hospital visits, or refusals to give out cell phone numbers. The boys just accept each other where they are at. How evolved is that? 

just enough cookie dough

When the kids were younger, I knew the cookie recipe by heart--- half cup butter, half cup peanut butter, half cup white sugar, half cup brown sugar, egg, vanilla,etc, etc. It was easy and I could keep it stored in Tupperware and bake as needed for a dessert or snack.The kids are adults now and I don't bake much. I feel better with less gluten and none of us need the sugar.

Valentine's Day was two weeks ago so I purchased a package of Nestle ready made chocolate chip cookie dough. The square package contained 24 cookies ready to bake. We enjoyed some with the holiday meal but I put the remainder of the package back in the drawer in the refrigerator and promptly forgot about them. I remembered tonight.

The family does not share as many meals as it did when the kids were little. With jobs, school, volunteer work, and outside commitments, there are many days that we never see each other. The stars aligned this evening where we are all in the house at the same time and we were able to share a relaxed meal.

Perhaps the snow fall made it possible for all of us to be together.

The calendar tells us that the month of March has arrived. The month is definitely "coming in like a Lion". Mother Nature thinks that this means that the Pacific Northwest must be buried in snow. Our winter has not been as severe as the East coast- or even Montana in the month of February (where Missoula received 39 inches!) but tonight the clouds are dumping and I am glad to be home.

The fish tacos were tasty and dessert was appreciated. Everyone has left the kitchen and carried on with their evening plans. The only ones with me in the dining room are (of course) the dogs. It is too bad that the cookies had chocolate in them. They were delicious, but if it was just a sugar or a peanut butter -I could have shared them with my children with fur.