Dad-- you better be loving him.

I am still at a point where I want to swear at God;
"How the Fuck could you let this happen?"
In my head, I know this is wrong -but I am dealing with a broken heart.

Eventually I will realize and accept the truth - that he is holding me and comforting me, but for now it is too raw. It is Valentine's Day and I know in my head that I am blessed. I also humbly acknowledge that my problems are not as serious as what others are grappling with. It still makes me cry.

I feel that I cannot continue writing a blog if I skip over this loss, but this ten and a half year old gentle giant was more-- so much more-- than I can express on a computer screen.

Q Nelson Spitz

May 29, 2003 to January 21, 2014