I bought one of those gizmos that you wear on your wrist and it tracks your movement. I can keep track of my activity, sleep, calories, food, blood pressure, etc. At this time I only track the activity and the sleep; or my lack of efficient sleep.
I write about the bulldogs a lot but in posts in the past I have told you about Q. Q is a Great Dane that is 10 &1/2 years old. He is a senior citizen with a loving heart. He is also my reason for inefficient sleep.
Most mothers or spouses learn to sleep with "one ear listening and one eye open". Whether our loved one is young or ill or somehow in need during the night, we are listening and ready to help.
I have considered just getting a baby monitor for Q so that I can sleep in a different bedroom. I have nixed that idea because I see that he finds comfort in the fact that we are in the same room. He wakes in the dark night and searches for reassurance. Many times he is unsure of where he is and his eyes are aged. I enjoy the days I have with him because I know that they are finite.
My attitude adjustment is underway even in my sleep-deprived state of being. I commit to have a "willing heart" daily and recommit each time I fail. My stumbles can be hourly, and are silly if I put them in perspective, but they are mine.
I must cherish the struggle because it is a gift to be alive and still BE struggling.
I understand and appreciate those that have left us at too early of an age. My face reddens with my self centered view.
It is easy to forget how finite life is when I am surrounded by goofy puppies. They are filled with joy and love to play. They wrestle and run and when they tire- they drop and nap. The chorus of snores is reassuring and sweet.
My caffeine consumption will not be decreasing this year. My sleep will continue to be inefficient and I am all right with that. Forgive me if you see me and I appear to be in a fog. For my friend, I don't mind being awake and being there.
Love this.. And so true..
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